[First off, I know one of the followers of this blog is the one who had the party I'm about to describe and I want to start by saying that I really did have fun and enjoyed myself ]
Last week, I went to a friend's birthday party and it was lots of fun. But it was also awkward in a way. Although I was the only married person there (I think), it was kind of weird being surrounded by PDA. Now it wasn't gross or anything, but more than I'd seen in a while. It got me to thinking though, Andrew and I were like that when we were dating too. But we don't really do that kind of stuff anymore. And with the revelation, I couldn't help but wonder; why was that? We were becoming old fuddy-duddies? Some people say the flame dies during marriage, so could that be true with us?
So I asked Andrew about it last night since it'd been on my mind for a while. And I was surprised by his answer. "Its not that our love has changed, its just that we show it differently than we used to." I asked him to elaborate. "When we were dating we did a lot of hand-holding, cuddling, and kissing, and we still do sometimes; but we show our love in other ways too. You show me you love me by rubbing my back when I start to fall asleep, running to the store late at night to get Sprite when I don't feel good, making my lunch for work, etc."
And I have to admit, it made me think. And I have to say he's right. We do show our love differently. Back when we were dating, we weren't as busy as we are now, and especially with a baby things got busier. So I've come to wonder if its true with other married students. But I know that their public PDA usually isn't the same as single daters. I wonder if its because they show their love differently too. I encourage my married readers to leave a comment with your thoughts, I'm curious how you feel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Dave and I have discussed this before. We still have some single friends and one night we doubled with them. After the date, we were both a little down because we felt like we had lost that spark. We watched the couple flirt and be playful and we found ourselves missing the magic and excitement we used to have while dating. But then we got talking about how if life was like that all the time, we would first of all be completely exhausted and most importantly, we wouldn't be able to truely love eachother. We realized that real love comes when life isn't all thrills and excitement. It really manifests itself when life is tiring, busy, and a little dull. Love is a sacrifice, not a game...it's about those things you talked about that are unselfish and non-superficial (like rubbing your spouses back and going to the grocery store late at night when you yourself are completely exhausted). Thanks for this post...it reminded me to be a little more unselfish and loving toward my husbie.
KIDS, I really think that when you have kids its really is different the way you interact and when you interact. I was never much into PDA actually when you see me and Corey together you'd never know we were cause we just don't act like it. I love seeing that people love each other but I don't like it when they are making out hardcore it's rude and esp for people that don't have a significant other I think its almost like a throw in your face, I have someone you don't. I have spoke to many people about this and many don't like the PDA. It's good that you love the person we just don't want to see you swapping spit! I also wonder how people keep the love so real . For example Grammy and Grandpa. About 5 years ago we were talking love and grammy said "Shortcake, your grandfather is just as appealing and wonderful as he was when I first met him". I was like WOWX! They've been married umteen million years and she still feels that way. I have been with Corey 10 and I wake up sometimes roll over and say to myself Geez your still here! Not really but I wonder how do you keep it alive so long and so well? BESIDES sex. Most men would give me that answer.
Larry and I are very romantic. We just save our romance for each other. We spend most of our special time for the bedroom, and not as you would think. We are just very private people who reserve the best parts of ourselves for the most intimate of settings: our home. And with baby makes three, the way we show our love is expounding in ways we never really ever thought about as newlyweds, let alone dating. Love isn't even close to what it was while we were dating, but it doesn't make it any less tangible, we jsut show our love in deeper ways; having and being a great support system to your spouse is the ultimate way for showing your love no matter what situation- ie. spiritual, mental, physical. And there are so many ways to interpret those three things. There are endless ways to love just one person, and Lars and I are constantly discussing and working on it so our "love reserves" are full in the most diffecult of times.
I'm glad you had fun at the party. ^^
Post a Comment