TOP TEN THINGS ENGLISH MAJORS HATE
10. Y'all/Ain't. You can't just go inventing contractions whe'er you feel like it. (That was supposed to be "whenever" only I made it into a contraction-it was supposed to be sarcasm).
9. People who treat onomatopoeia words like they're verbs, i.e. "Stop that right now or I'm gonna whop you!", "Ouch, I bonged my head!", etc.
8. People who use the word "gonna" in print, like it's faster than saying "going to".
7. E-mails that have no punctuation or capitalization.
6. Math
5. People who say, "You're majoring in English? Cool! So I guess you're going to end up teaching!" After all, I don't say, "You're majoring in Computer Science? Wow! I guess you must be an antisocial geek with a fifth grade reading level!"
4. Text message speech. It's seriously annoying. I'm not kidding. An "lol" once in a while is OK, but as for the rest, let's just say it makes me srry th4t cell phns were evr m4de, k?
3. People who say things like, "I'd like to read more, but I just don't have the time." Right. And I'd like to breathe more, but I just don't have the time.
2. People who, when answering the phone, respond to inquiries for themselves by saying "This is me." So glad we cleared that up. Good to know that it's you and not somebody else.
1. People who give their children names with unnecessary apostrophes, e.g. C'ssandra, etc. I w'ant to k'ick these people in the r'ea'r'.
TOP TEN THINGS ENGLISH MAJORS LOVE
10. The smell that comes out of the pages of a brand new book the very first time it's opened.
9. Metaphor
8. British People. Where would we be without them? They invented the language!
7. Reading indoors in the middle of a thunderstorm.
6. Reading in the bathtub.
5. Reading.
4. Intelligent conversation about a great book.
3. E-mails where the sender took the time to spell check and include punctuation before hitting 'send'.
2. Letters. Handwritten and alphabetical.
1. Libraries.
Hope you liked my top ten lists!
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1 comment:
Math gets only one word? not even a phrase or sentence? I am offended! humph!
And just for the record, the language of English in America is not purely from England. This isn't called the mixing pot for show. There are many words and phrases, especially in regional areas that have nothing to do with England that are perfectly legal.
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